This is a must read for all mainstream jocks .

[Iano]

Picture the scene ...One of Irelands cheesey , mainstream ,charty handbag clubs is in full swing with about 1,200 happy punters at about 12.50 dancing away to R.Kelly .Ignotion .

A guy comes up and asks me why the f*ck am i playing this awful commercial rubbish and could i express myself a bit more with some more upfront dance music and take clubbing to another level ........Helloooooooo, i thought , here we f**kin go lads .

Normally i tell pri**s like him to f**k off but i decided to have a laugh and pay attention just for the ...
He told me i was selling myself to the mainstream devil and was contributing to the downfall of decent clubs and music . I tried to explain to him that we were a fun happy club that gets almost 1,000 people every night frrom thursday to sunday but he wasnt having any of it ...........
''Your supposed to be educating these people and not boring them with chart crap and put good music into their heads , your a typical run of the mill dj who will do anything for money [that bit he got right ] ........
Punchiline ......I cant believe you dont have decks and your a CD jock .

Ill save the best till last .....I go to get ino my car at 3.30 , theres a guy sitting on the bonnett eating a hot dog . i recognised him and told him politely to Fu*k off ...........Tap on the window .Hi , your not going near Blackrock are you ????

I fuckin give up ......

[KJ]

lol

Question for ye Ian - would you rather deal with a D4 Daddy's Girl or a scobie with a moustache at a gig? Id nearly take the scobie


Personally had my worst Saturday night gig in years last night, we were down from a usual door of 1,000 - 1,200 to around 600 people. With everything from the Leaving Cert (eh?!) to the football match to no money after the bank holiday weekend been cited as reasons

Nothing, of course, to do with fact that doorstaff started to let in girls who look around 17 in the past few weeks and all our regulars have shagged up the road to a new state of the art nightclub ;)

Ever have a gig where you feel like going on a week long bender Ian? lol


KJ

[Iano]

Dont have a problem with the D4 brigade Kelly , just pisses me off when wankers try to tell you your doing it all wrong and dont realise the policy of the club . Im sure your like me Kelly and would LOVE to play house /dance at most of our gigs but it's just not going to fill the floor and get them excited because the club would be empty by 1.00 .
I only get a reaction to a decent dance set at one venue , thats on a Friday [you know where ] but it's getting smaller each week and ive a pain in my bo***cks with half a brain girlies complaining the music is too ravey [rui da silva ?? lol]

Let me know if your going on that week long bender , ill buy the first round dude ...........

[DeargDoom]

Ian ... its always funny to meet these pricks, 'cos the first thing that springs to my mind is why aren't they gigging themselves?!

And secondly, why on earth are they going to the old club o' love if they like their "serious tunes like man".

Thirdly ... I'm not a full time gigging jock, but I currently do 3 gigs a week playing the most mindless chart pap to imbeciles. ITS FOR THE MONEY!!! You want girl pop? Personally I'd rather play Saint Etienne rather than Atomic Kitten, and I know Ian Cribben would give his right goolie for the chance to blast out "London Calling" by the Clash at his gigs, but the punters have to get their way. You don't go to McDonalds to broaden your culinary horizons. Nor do you go to a mainstream club to get an education. But what can you these morons!

btw ... If you were playing R Kelly Ignition off Vinyl would that make you more credible?

DD

[Sarah Baybay]

lmfao @ Ian

ah thats gas, seen it happen SO many times,
kinda funny tho :D

[Turiel]

Its great over here in GC, the punters are amazed purely because you can mix!

[The Big Gig]

Freaky.... nearly the exact same thing happened me on sunday last..... but i actually gave him the whole i get paid for doing this and am pleasing the punter etc... and he came up to me 5 minutes later and apologised!!!! the wonderful world of DRINK

[Jasonsh]

I hate those type of assholes, but I suppose most venues always have at least one.

They do not seem to understand that the main job of the DJ is to please the crowd and if you have a packed dancefloor at the time, I'd say that they are pleased!!


I gig at reasonably small bars and private functions and most nights I will have someone like that come up and think he (or sometimes her) knows it all. They are usually between 18-20 years old (sometimes younger). You try and expain that the bar you are playing in has a music policy of chart and maybe 80's and 90's Classics, but you may as well talk to the wall!!

I suppose thats why us DJ's have to have the patience of a saint!!

[Luke Warm]

I just get the light jock to deal with all the punters, requests complaints etc we've enough to think about with out some arse monger taking up our time, talking drunkin rubbish.
So tne answer is use the light jock

[neilkavanagh]

Then there's also the classic case of "...im a dj meself, give us a sho o' yer decks n' i'll get this place buzzin'........".

I HATE those w**kers. Don't get them too often but when you do, I go MAD!!

[fox three]

eh...... speaking of which............. Im a DJ myself!

[DeargDoom]

Was in a well known Temple Bar nightspot last night and the jock played a couple of classic cheesy dance tunes from the early 90s (Deelite, Mr Vain etc etc). Some horrible skanger with fake tan slapped all over her flabby arms came up to him and in a voice that would melt paint roared "D'ya not have anyting good? Yadhav to take 5 e to dance to dat". To which the jock responded "Well fuck off and take them so!"

DD

p.s...won't name the jock. But he used to have a bushy tache.

[Ice Pop Daddy]

That tache is even more legendary than the Letch himself!

Btw... radio recommendation for this week ; Darragh Roberts on CKR breakfast. Have a good one, Plank!

[Bren Long]

Originally posted by DeargDoom
Some horrible skanger with fake tan slapped all over her flabby arms came up to him and in a voice that would melt paint roared "D'ya not have anyting good? Yadhav to take 5 e to dance to dat". To which the jock responded "Well fuck off and take them so!"

LOL @ Dearg
To which she probably replied, "yeah dats a deadly teuwin" whilst fellating her bottle of red Woodies.

"Have yizzer enny songs"
"What one do you want to hear?"
"Yeah"

[Wastedchildhood]

God your all speaking my language, pop pickers....

Hate one. Your in Club XYC and have been playing R'n'B as you do 400 nights in a row, and Poxer asks you to play DJ E Popper and Handbrake Turn, claiming it's Furckin busszzin meaaaan in Ehbithizza"(sic). You say we don't play that here etc, etc to which he replies well have you got his album there? How many ways can you spell no?

Hate two. Have you any good tunes? Note absolutely no suggestion of music genre in the request. Any answer to this

Hate three. An twat in a Glasgow Keltic shirt (a real Rah head)asks you to play ballads oblivious to the fact that it's nightclub your in.

Hate four. Someone asks yo uto play a song, you say I'v just played it say 20 minutes ago. Awww play it again I'm only just got in. Awwww like tough shit and stuff. Ditto if they ask for a song, but play it now as I'm off to the poxy kip club down the road

Hate five. A guy ask you to play a song you either don't have or will not play. So he gets his GF to ask you for it. Yes, sure to work, ain't it.

Hate six Your music is muck. No, you just don't like it number one and number two I agree but fuck off and dance like verybody else.

Hate seven (for mobile jocks only) At a bday bash, your playing the usual cliches, and skanger who has gone to the effort of putting on a clean tracksuit asks you to play DJ Bassbin cos 'everybody will be up on the floor. at 8:15PM.

Hate eight. Managers who give out for your playing loud music and turn you down to levels most bats can't hear even though they are paying you money to play; like frustrating or what?

Hate nine DJ Boxes/areas that have no room. poky, filled with toilet rolls, chairs, mops, empty kegs, etc or are in stupid spots like 15th floor in a thimble, in doorways or bset of all the ones that don't face the dancefloor!

Hate ten. Punters who assume they have carte blanche rights to poke through your flycase, and are disgusted when you refuse them this UN protected right

Hate eleven. Venues who charge you for drinks, even though you fill the place up for them. Nice touch lads, very weloming!

Ok some tongue in cheek I know but anyone agree?