Do DJs get lonely?

[Pulse 95-99]

Do you consider been a DJ to be lonely? More often than not, I get pissed off leaving a club whilst there maybe a few hundred pissed people around me having a great time. I suppose its ok if you have a girlf or wife, but its something Ive noticed recently. Just wondering what your thoughts are?

[DeargDoom]

Hi Pulse. Good topic btw - and you're a brave man to post it up.

I totally agree with you - as a DJ you get many many aquaintences but very few friends. Not unlike comedians, when you meet people for the first time, you're meant to be on duty and be some wacky zany character thats droll and clever with the lines.

A lot of people I've gone out with have been purely into the "me fellas a DJ" notion, and to be quite honest with you it does make you very paranoid and wary of new people that you meet.

[KJ]

hmmmmmmmm

Interesting topic alright (and that took some balls to put it up Pulse, fair play)

No time to give my 50 cents on it now, but you can be sure I will ;)


KJ

[Dane Bowers]

Yea, Kelly cuz your always going home alone from your gigs....The stories I've heard from you would corrupt the mind of a porn star!

[DeargDoom]

ah, yes but all that dirty filthy nasty empty sex with barely legal teenage supermodels sobbing with need makes Kelly sad and lonely.

But seriously folks... I've never gone out with somebody I've met from a gig. I've been with them (go on ya good thing) but never wanted a relationship from 'em.

God I'm such a charmer.

DD

[Pulse 95-99]

Is it possible for at least one thread not to ruined by stupid antics. I look forward to KJs reply, and would once again ask has this happened to you at all.

[Dane Bowers]

ooooh apologies for my stupid antics! Seems I can't get anything right these days.....You can go back to your oh so serious discussion now

[Darren B]

Interesting topic. I know what your saying Pulse. Personally Ive never been lonely at a gig. Generally my friends would pop along to enjoy the night out and I would chat to them at the dj box and enjoy myself afterwards with them, or else my girlfriend would be at them. (My girlfriend who I insidently met at a gig I was doing)

Although I agree with Dearg in that a lot of Women that will chat you up at a gig is just so that they can say they are with a dj or whatever, but this isnt always the case.

I must also state that my GF isnt interested in weather Im a dj or not

[The squire]

Yeah, i met my girlfreind at a gig i was doing over 2 years ago. being the dj girls are always inclined to come and chat 2 you, but maybe im a bit weird cos i dont like that really, If youre trying to be nice and talk to a girl whos talking to you, you cant concentrate on what youre doing, so the music suffers & youre not doing your job.

[Iano]

One advantage a DJ has over most males in a club is the fact he can get chatting to a girl a lot easier without having to work too hard at it . DJ's dont really have to worry about breaking the ice so an introduction is not necessary . A lot of women look at a dj's job as exciting , sexy , glamours and fun , so they immediately become attracted because they will get the impression you can open all kinds of doors for them .....So lets keep the illusion up lads, and remember , lifes too short to pass up any opportunities .

Iano.

[DeargDoom]

Thats true Ian - unless you're the type of second rate DJ that I am where I need every little bit of concentration to keep the music coming. An old pro like you on the other hand....!

DD

p.s...jesus Pulse 95-99 don't be so scorpy, I gave you a proper response!

[bestie]

The worst part for me is looking at my friends getting pissed when i am sobber AND working! It is a weird feeling because for 2 hours or so i have everygirl on the dancefloor giving me the eye but towards the end of the night, as the demon alcohol kicks in, they get distracted by the brave lads hitting the floor.

i agree with the boy dearg, i can't chat up a girl, mix AND look good all at the one time!!!Being a single male i do often leave the club lonely, sniff sniff, but it leaves me all set for the next night when i am that drunken gobshite on the dancefloor.

good topic methinks...

[chump]

One thing i hate when doing gigs, is the girls that come up to you trying to act all nice to you just so as you'll play the crap song that they want you to. It happens ALL the time (from my experience anyway) and it drives me nuts.
With regard to the lonely thing, i think it all depends on the gig. If it's in a bar just playing background music or whatever, it can be lonely but if it's in a big club, it's really enjoyable (i think) because you can control the crowd and keep taking them that next step higher, and so, you dont really think about who's next to you, you're just having a great time!

[Pulse 95-99]

You mean those girls that give you the puppy dog look on their face and smile sweetly, and push their boobs towards you!? There the ones that want some indie crap like the hives!!

[DeargDoom]

Nout wrong with the Hives, certainly beats the bloody Grease Megamix!!!

Got chatting to a really good looking woman last week (no additional story, just thought I'd boast. Doesn't happen too often).

DD

[steve reilly]

i personally think its a bad idea to meet a girl in a place where u are gigging every week, or on a regular basis, u see if u go there again and just get pi**ed off metting said girl what kind of position does that leave u in? i know this from a recent experience. it did blow over but it did cause tention and u dont need that when your tryin to put a set together. as dearg said u need consentration.

[FlippinMental]

i have to say as a female DJ i find that men in the clubs can be downright sleazy,its like you are an open book for them to hit on just because you're the DJ after many bad experiences i limit my gigs to those with out-of-reach dj boxes but guys seriously you cant love it ALL the time when girls are trying it on with you - what about the MINGERS?

[V/O Wannabe]

i dont love it AT ALL!!!! I agree with chump, they're only nice to ya because they want ya to play their song.

[Pulse 95-99]

Spoke to a couple of friends of mine that are DJs outside of Dublin recently and was sad to find out that a couple of them had been hit badly by depression. I dont have answers but I would think that its improtant to have friends outside of the DJing circle, because i think its very easy to get caught up in our own hype.

I reckon that if your feeling down, a lot, and putting on the DJ front for work and friends, its time to talk to someone.

On a side note, has anyone noticed that 3-4 years ago, we all seemed to earn a load of cash, and now we seem to be working harder for less? Just a thought.

[Sarah Baybay]

Originally posted by FlippinMental
i have to say as a female DJ i find that men in the clubs can be downright sleazy,its like you are an open book for them to hit on just because you're the DJ after many bad experiences i limit my gigs to those with out-of-reach dj boxes
very interesting topic Pulse !!

yep i totally agree there Flippin, i'v done a few gigs in places in town and i was just so glad i had a gang of mainly male mates with me cuz they were able to step in if i was gettin too much hassle!!!
i'm on a break from djing at the mo but when i return i'll be adopting ur attitude of not playin in a place unless dj box is out of reach :)

getting back to the topic tho, ya it can be a lonely life alrite. again, i'm only a newbie!!! and i'v nearly always had mates wit me but i see my mates that wud be gigging 5/6 nites a week and it can be quite lonely for them.
Have to say i'd never get involved wit sum1 i'd meet at a gig. Its so obvious they're only interested in ya cuz of wat ya do!and in my case, being a girl, its an even bigger ting for them sayin their gf is a dj (sad!!!)
and anyway, as mentioned by Flippin, they're usually sleazy guys.... well 99.9% of the time! :rolleyes:

[Sarah Baybay]

Originally posted by Pulse 95-99
Spoke to a couple of friends of mine that are DJs outside of Dublin recently and was sad to find out that a couple of them had been hit badly by depression. I dont have answers but I would think that its improtant to have friends outside of the DJing circle, because i think its very easy to get caught up in our own hype.

I reckon that if your feeling down, a lot, and putting on the DJ front for work and friends, its time to talk to someone.
just on that point Pulse, i tink ur point on havin mates outside of DJing is the most valuable piece of info to gain out of this thread! :)

I'm not tryin to stir shit or offend any1 by this next comment (but i'll probably be hung for it anyway :rolleyes: )
but a huge amount of DJ's are notoriously shallow self centred w@nkers ....
Maybe its a trait DJ's are prone to or maybe its just born from the egotistical rush of having an audience & fame ..... but it tends to turn many shallow and in turn the shallowness will eventually destroy that person unless they have normal ppl round them to ground them every so often!

Please don't get me wrong, i hasten to add that i have met some of the soundest ppl too (mainly belong to the freedom gang, awww shucks i'm gittin all emotional here haha!) but i tink its quite recognised that a lot of ppl in this business can be quite sly and cruel if it suits. I think that depression can definately set in if your only social circle involves these potential vultures!!
a bit of variety in life never hurt anyway :D

[Shane Pearce]

yea, i agree totally, it is good to have friends outside of the dj/radio circle.....

[Turiel]

But isn't everyone outside the dj/radio circle a lesser form of life ? ;)

[Turiel]

I personally have no problem having to play music and sit in a DJ box while other people are drinking and enjoying themselves. Because, most of the time, I'm enjoying myself too. I enjoy seeing people reacting to the music I play, and if people are having a good time, then that means I'm doing something right (presuming its not €1 a drink and they're too locked to even notice the music ;)). And that gives me enough of a buzz to not care that im not the one on the dancefloor!

As for enjoyment of the female kind... well... its something I've been thinking about and trying to figure out for the last two or three months, and I've still gotten nowhere. I've scored lots of girls at gigs (i'm sure most of us have). But I've never gone out with any of them. Most of the time, thats the way I want it, and its fine by me. But then sometimes, there's one girl that maybe I do actually really like and would at least consider something more with. But a lot of these girls simply don't want anything more. Which leads me to the question - "are they just scoring me cause im the dj?". I know for a fact that it has definitely been that in a fair few cases.

To be honest, its very hard for me to put down in writing anything about this, which is why I haven't contributed to this thread before, even though it very much relates to me. It's not because I find it hard to talk about this sort of stuff, but more because I really havent figured it all out in my head yet.

So do DJs get lonely? Well, yeah, I do. But strangely enough, it usually only happens when I'm NOT djing!

MaxPower: You made no point whatsoever. Much as I love your having a go at me at every given opportunity, you're not worth the effort of me defending myself.