The Most Annoying Types of Punter Ever.....

[frankie says relax]

Ok , we've all had it , the ass hole punter who knows it all . So heres a few replies to awkward requests .

Punter.....Can you play Shakira , everybody wants to hear it
Dj .........How do you know , did you do a f**kin survey ?

Punter ..........Wheres a good place for spanish music ?
Dj ........Spain , now piss off


Punter ........Can you play something with words in it ?
Dj........... I have ''the lords prayer '' but it dosen't go down too well.


Punter........Can you play something we know ?
Dj ........like what ? gimmie a clue will ya , im not fu**in mystic meg .


Punter ........Can you play a bit of Bob for Anto .[normally means 'marley]
Dj ........Play bob the builder and tell everybody Anto asked for it .


Anybody got anymore to add ?

[TonyL]

FSR that ois all so true, SO TRUE,

Now hear what I get blubbered in my ear most nights of the week, in fact all seven of them!!!

Punter: I'm a dj meself, not play some HERDHOUSE will ye??
Me: No, fuck off back to the club that you dont play in ie: your bedrooooom!!!!

(one just like one of yours slightly)
Punter (15yr old k*****r): PLay good songs

Me: Good songs? Good bloody songs? Define Good Songs ya dimwitted stupid f.......

And on my side of the water I get.....

Punter: Do you like living over here??
Me: No its fu.cking torture, I hate the sun the sea the free gargle the women........ASK A FUCK.IN SENSIBLE QUESTION YA TWIT!!!

Ah, here's another,

(background setting: 10 big fu*k off sized EV's blasting in yer ear)
Punter: Do ye know the one the goes.....de de di da de di de da
Me: SPEECHLESS!!!

There's loads more, but I cant remember at the mo,

Talk l8tr,

Tony http://www.gran-canaria-info.com/images/zonnetje.gif

[T-man]

Punter: ere bud giz some scooter eeeeeehhhhh
Reply: Eh, no thanks but feel free to get on yours and F... off

Punter: scuse me pal, ave ya got the one that sounds like scooter
but its not scooter,
Reply: well actually I know the one your talking about but in fact I brought the one that sounds like him but is scooter...........(usually you get quite a baffled looking punter who usually walks off muttering to him/her self wondering what just happened)

[patdj1]

Bloody funny!!! Although I think there's one or two of you got a death wish!!!

Pat.

[frankie says relax]

Hey Pat , when we goin to hear you back on Irish radio .

[BillyBob]

How about Breakfast on Spin - they could use a decent jock in the morning?

Or 98, have you heard their new breakfast show? just launched this morning...

[KJ]

lol

Some good ones there. Then there's always the classic .......

Punter - "Play something we can dance to!" when the dancefloor is in fact jammers

Me - speechless


A mate of mine has a list of them he actually used to stick up at his gigs in Turkey, I must ask him to dig them out


KJ

;)

[DeargDoom]

"story, are you not playing the anthem"

DD : "No"

"why not, its de done ting here in <PUB NAME>"

DD : "feel free to sing it yourself buddy"

"Sinne Finnna fail....."......anthem trails off as tachey knacker realises he doesn't actually know the words


..............

or this one.....

"can ya say hello to Linda the snobby C.unt"

DD : "No"

"Its alright, I'm a friend of the manager, tell him that Tayo said for you to do it"

DD : "ring him on his mobile, get him out of the office, up the stairs to the club, into my DJ box and I'll do it"


------------------------

heres a great Blackrock one...

"oh yeah, hoi, loike I ORDERED a song about loike 20 minutes ago you know"

------------------------

"ya never played me request and you ruined me night."

DD : "you looked awful miserable out there on the dancefloor for three hours for sure"

-------------------------

"I'm a DJ meself"

DD ; "f.uck right off before I run down the road, get a blow torch, come back in, burn your ugly face off before turning it upon your equally ugly girlfriend. If you and that plug ugly walking STD have spawned some ankle biter I will find that waste of societys time and money and put it to the slaughter. No jury in the land will find me guilty, because it will be considered a mercy killing. Then I will get the money from tonights gig and put it towards a fund for genetic engineering so that some day we may live in a society that doesn't have scooter loving dole sponging half wits like you". *


* dramatisation, may not have happened. But its what DJs REALLY want to say!!

[neilex]

This one usually comes from some know all stuck up bit.ch. While this happens something totally new could be playing and the dance floor completely packed!

Punter: Will ya play something up to date?

DJ: Like What?

Punter: Like mambo number five or something...

DJ to Punter: Mambo number five....? give me half an hour and if I can find it I'll certainly play it. Thats so new I might not have it yet!

Punter: That will get everybody up.

DJ: Yeah, whatever..... toddle on now...

DJ to LightJock: Did you hear that stupid F*ckin sack of horse sh*t?

LightJock: No?

DJ: (in a high pitch mimicking spastic like voice) Will ya play something up to date..... I'm a sad cow and I have'nt been out since 99, I cant dance and and if I get some stupid song played I can at least shuffle my two left feet try shaking my arse a bit....

[frankie says relax]

There are a lot of people out there who shouldn't be allowed out after 9.o clock , never mind letting them into nightclubs .

A classic i got recently ..........

punter ........hi , do you have '' i got chills ''
dj......what ?
punter ........ah you know ''i got chills ''
dj........never heard of it
punter ........you f**kin liar , you do have it , you play it every tuesday
dj.........dont know what the hell your talkin about girl
punter ......it was no 1 in 1978 , it goes ''i got chills there multyplin 'and im losin' control ....
dj.........beam me up scotty ''

[neilex]

Another one! I got this a few weeks ago... The music in this club is mainly chart/RnB

Punter: Will you play Slipnot

DJ: No, sorry I have'nt got any Slipnot

Punter: Oh please play it, me and my friends will all get up and dance

DJ: But I have'nt got any

Punter: Please, awe comeaawwwn. This music your playin is sh*t, everyone wants to hear slipnot... please

DJ: But I actually dont have any so therefore I cant play it

Punter: I'll give you a fiver if ya play it

DJ: Listen, I DONT HAVE IT SO I CANT PLAY IT, what do you expect me to do? sing it or something??

Punter: Ah F*ck off, I'm gonna complain about you to the owner. We come in here to hear our music and you wont play it

DJ: Well you do that, there's the owner/manager over there with the blue shirt on, want me to call him over the mic for you?

Punter: Ah.... ah,..... no.

DJ: Well f*ck off and quit buggin me.


While I firmly believe in being polite to all punters there is a line, a point where the patients runs out. I think it was crossed in this instance.

[frankie says relax]

No neil ,dont be polite to any of them , basically there all aragant ba**ards who think were all just performing monkeys, there just to entertain them and nobody else .

oh i forgot this one ....

Punter ......Hey , can you play Jo Jo ''
Dj ........What ?
Punter .........You know , ' Jo Jo ''
Dj .....Sorry but you have me there .
Punter .......Ah christ c'm on , you know it , 4 guys sing it
Dj .........Im afraid i havn't a clue .
Punter...........ok , it goes , ''
Jo Jo was a man who thought he was a woman ''

Held my face in my hands asking god why he was punishing me for sins committed in a past life ......

[silly billy]

I have to be honest, if somebody has been annoying me for a song all night that doesn't suit, and they tell me that the music is shit then I tell them to "f*&k off somewhere else then!"
Usually shuts them up!

[Slicklink]

I always found the ah yeah no prob stick it on in a mo approach worked better (just give them the answer the want and hopefully they'll get drunk and forget all about it)..... I'd rarely engage in coinversation with a punter unless she was drop dead gorgeous ! Love the stories, sound familiar ! Its very hard to be tolerant of people who are musically inept!

[Arnold]

One for the more venerable board members.

Punter: What sort of records d'ya have?

Response: Round black one's, with holes in the middle.

This thread smells a lot like the scene in Hi-Fidelity.

In fairness to the punters we should also include some of the crap excuses we've used over the years for not having a requested tune.

I.E. "I had it but some bast**d robbed it at my last gig", "I'm waiting for the 12", "I work with another guy and he took it for a gig he's doing tonight"

I'm sure that some of you will recognise these (and others)

[rickker]

or the classic and usual ....

Punter : Story sham ? .. av ya da tune that gos " dud dud dud dud dud dud dud waaaa waaaaaaa waaaaaaa dum dum dum and there's a bit in it where yer wan go's ... "life me up to the sky "

dj.. wha??

[neilex]

Another thing that REALLY annoys me is this...

Punter: Will ya play me friend a song coz she's out for her birthday!

DJ: Yeah, What Song?

Punter: Something good

DJ: Like what ? what do you think is good?

Punter: What have you got

DJ: Do you really want me to sit here for the next few days and name out every song?

Punter: Let me in there and I'll have a look.

Now this drives me completely mad! Or quite often I'll use the line "I'll have a look for it and if I have it I'll definitly stick it on for you!" but some dick heads will come back with "I'll wait here until you find it"

Or did ya ever ger a regular punter who'll come up and say

Punter: Play my song for me will ya?

DJ: What song might that be?

Punter: I cant believe you dont know!

DJ: Well, I'm sorry but I dont know what it is

Punter: Guess

Now what the hell do they think I am? a f*ckin mind reader??

[frankie says relax]

LOL @Neil........

Punter ........Wots da story wi' de tunes ?
Dj ...........What do you mean ?
Punter........Can you play a bit of dance ?
Dj........Its an oldies night
Punter ......What do you mean it's an oldies night ?
Dj..........Exactly what i said , it's an oldies night , or do you have difficulty hearing me ?
Punter.........Can you just play one dance tune ?
Dj ........No .
Punter .......Not even at the end of the night ?
Dj........No .
Punter............Nobody likes this music .
Dj ....Yeah i know , thats why theres 500 people in here .

[KJ]

lol

Ye gotta love this thread if you're a gigging jock

I used to tell every punter "yes" or "I'll have a look for ya" as it got them away from the box quicker and let me concentrate on keeping the floor moving, lately tho if someone asks for anything obscure or "out there" I'll tell them straight out "sorry, no I dont have that" ........... it saves them coming back upto you constantly and it saves a little bit of your sanity ;) (Having said that if the punter in question is cute and not full of herself she *might* get the "I'll check for ye, give me 15 minutes" line, lol)

Certain loopers should be handed little booklets as they go into a venue along the lines of "101 Reasons Why Your DJ Tonight Cant Play Led Zepplin" or "Songs You Havent A Chance Of Hearing Tonight So Dont Ask"


KJ

;)

[silly billy]

why oh why oh why do stupid punters think that if they put on stupid puppy eyes when asking you for nirvana when you're playing nelly you'll say " oh actually alright then"
AGHHHH IDIOTS GO AWAY
- sorry just had to get that off my chest!

but I did get one off the most stupid chat up lines I've ever heard from a punter last night (and yes it was the one with the puppy eyes request)
it went like this - Is your surname "jacobs"
me like a spa - eh no why?
stupid answer - cus you're some crackeR

They say that god loves a tryer -- I don't, I just think they're pathetic

[frankie says relax]

Golden rule no 1 of dj'ing ......never play requests for ugly women ,always look after the sexy chics .

[Turiel]

The stupid puppy dog eyes works on me :)

Presuming of course they're female and good looking.

[deco]

Firstly, how amny blokes say they " - sorry just had to get that off my chest!"

Secondly, how many women could come up with such a line????

Thirdly, there is no such thing as an "Ugly" chick....................

Lastly, who do you think the less attractive women hang about with??????

[The Big Gig]

howya im a deee jay meeeself any chance you could play some prog.... nice wan

blow me!

[Peadar]

yeah it's actually not funny the number of so-called DJ's who've never touched decks in their life that appear these days ...... !"£%&*(s

[neilex]

I got a classic last weekend!

Some chappy mongoed out of his head on some kind of seriously mind altering stuff!!

"Alrui mayte, I know wha Im talkin about, turn up the bmp"

Presuming he meant BPM, anyway I simply turned up a gain control on a fader that I wasnt using and said to him

"Is that better?"

And he said?

"Yaaaaa!!!"

TWAT!

[Mr-X]

! A T T E N T I O N !
Before Requesting Songs, Making Comments Or Asking Questions Of The Dj,
Please Check Below For Your "Special" Request...

1. Play Something Good, Something We Can Dance To! .
The D.J. Has To Play For More Than One Person... So What You Hate May Be Another's Favourite Song. And, Everything Played Here Can Be Danced To One Way Or Another.

2. Would You Play Something With A Beat?!
Be Serious! We Know Of No Songs Played In A Club That Don't Have Some Sort Of "Beat"!

3. I Don't Know Who Sings It And I Don't Know
The Name Of The Song, But It Goes Like This ...
Please! Don't Sing For The D.J. They Have To Put Up With Smoke-Filled Rooms And Dangerous Decibel Levels All Night ... Do Them A Favour And Don't Give Them A Rendition Of Your Favourite Song.

4. Everybody Wants To Hear It!
Oh, Sure... You Polled Everyone In This Club And, As Their Spokesperson, You're Requesting The Song.

5. Everybody Will Dance If You Play It!
The D.J. Won't! I Guess That Blows A Hole In That Theory!

6. I Can Get That Girl If You Play It!
Why Settle For One Night? Buy The Album And Get That Girl For A Whole Month!

7. I Want To Hear It Next!
The Only People Who Can Get Away With That Statement Is The People Who Write The Djs Pay check.

8. I Don't Know What I Want To Hear ... What Do You Have?
It S A Lot Easier For You To Go Have Another Beer And Figure Out What You Want To
Hear Than It Is For The D.J. To Recite The Name Of Every Record In The Booth.

9. Hey Man, Nobody Can Dance To This! .
It Is Not Advisable To Say This When The Dance Floor Is Packed (But Some People Do Anyway).
However, Even If There Is Only One Person On The Floor, It Still Contradicts The Statement.



If You Ask For A Song And The Dj Says He Just Played It, Please Don't Say, "Well, I Just Got Here!"
It Makes Absolutely No Difference To The Dj When You Got There!

Please Don't Ask The Dj, "Is This The Only Kind Of Music You Play?"
If You Go To A Chinese Restaurant, You Wouldn't Ask For Italian Food. Rock Clubs Play Rock,
New Wave Clubs Play New Wave, Discos Play Disco; Etc., Etc., Etc.

If You Ask For A Song... Be Specific. Don't Say ... "I Want To Hear Something...Anything But This."
Try Going To The Bar And Saying, I Wanna Drink Something... Anything But This...
You Can't Complain If You're Not Specific.
.
However, If You Are Specific And The Dj Says He Doesn't Have That Song, Don't Say,
"What? What Do You Mean You Don't Have It? What Kind Of D.J. Are You? Why Don't You Get Into The Wonderful World Of Fast Food You Obviously Don T Know What You Re Doing As D.J."

He May Shoot You!!

A Night Club Dj Gets Very Little Respect. They Are Expected To Play Everything For Everybody. It Is Impossible To Satisfy All Of The People All Of The Time, Yet Club Jocks Are Expected To Do Just That. If A Radio Jock Tells His Listeners A Song Is A Hit, The Majority Of The People Figure It Must Be Because They Said So On The Radio. However, 80% Of The Time That Same Song Was Being Played In A Club Long Before The Radio Discovered The New Song.
So Give The D.J. A Break. The Next Time You Request A Song, Stop And Think Before You Speak.

And Above All... If The D.J. Has One Hand On The Mixing Board,
One Hand On A Turntable and The Headphones On... Don't Bug Him...
! He's Mixing !

[Mr-X]

The top 40 lines you hate to hear


Audience interaction is great… but there’s always someone who just doesn’t understand the art of making requests. How many of these lines sound familiar to you?

1. Play some real music.
2. Play something that somebody actually wants to hear.
3. Play something faster, more upbeat.
4. Play something we can dance to.
5. Play something with a beat.
6. Don’t play any crap.
7. Shut this off! (so what if the dancefloor is full).
8. Nobody likes this; it sucks and you suck.
9. I need a song, but I don’t know what it’s called.
10. Throw on some Zeppelin, it’ll get the place rockin’.
11. Thanks, now play the whole CD.
12. So it skips, play it anyway!
13. Play it! Or I’ll knock you into next week!
14. Don’t play it, ‘cause my friend is here and she’ll cry.
15. It’s the only song my boyfriend knows how to dance to.
16. Play it and I’ll love you forever.
17. There’s fifty bucks in it for you (yea… right).
18. Next, next, next, next. Play it next. It’s gotta be next!
19. Don’t play it next, wait ‘till I come back.
20. You didn’t just play it! I’ve been here all night and I haven’t heard it.
21. Play it again, no one will notice.
22. Don’t play that, everybody’s sick of it.
23. Nobody cares what you play, they just wanna drink.
24. Everybody’ll dance. Everybody wants to hear it.
25. Play it next ‘cause we’re gonna leave right away.
26. Play it now or we’ll leave.
27. It’s a request… you have to play it.
28. Play it or I’ll have you fired.
29. Hey, remember who’s paying you!
30. We can’t hear it in the back; turn it up.
31. It’s too loud up front, turn it down.
32. What songs you got?
33. I think it’s the third or fourth song… just play the whole CD.
34. You know the song… it goes “Da Dun Da Da De Da…”
35. There’s some guy singing and a guitar.
36. You’re the DJ, you should know it.
37. What do you mean you don’t have it; sure you have it.
38. I held the tape recorder real close to the TV, it should sound fine.
39. You’ve got time for one more.
40. Just one more and then we’ll leave. Really we will.

[KJ]

Ive one to top them all from last Sat night

A foreign guy comes up to me and asks

"Have you any Turkish House music??"

you couldnt make that up!

He got pretty annoyed when I said "no" too, lol


Another I got at the SAME gig off a guy who looked like a cross between Mr Magoo and Jerry Lewis' Nutty Proffesor

"Have you any Roxanne??"


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


KJ

;)

[The squire]

What about when the punter comes in, asks for a song, its shit and ya tell them ya dont have it. Then they stare at youre 2 cases of cd's and a box of records and say, hmmm..... what have you got? or....

punter: play something else will ya? that musics crap (meanwhile the dancefloor seems busy!)

dj: well what type of music are you after?

punter: anything exept that s***

soundsystem: aon fockal, gha fockal, truair fockal eila

p.s i will dance on the next persons head that requests a song while it is playing!

[Sam Lowry]

Haven't laughed so much in ages!!!!! And I have come up against every one of these sad losers!!!! One note of caution though: while it may be very satisfying at the time to tell some punter to f**k himself or slag him off, all it takes is for him to be a mate or relative of some sort of the management and you could be out of a gig a few weeks later because of that one stupid muppet.

Peace,

Sam

[Shane Pearce]

Originally posted by The squire
What about when the punter comes in, asks for a song, its shit and ya tell them ya dont have it. Then they stare at youre 2 cases of cd's and a box of records and say, hmmm..... what have you got?

I know how that one feels......ya end up feeling that ya just wanna slap them...lol Its only ever the sh*te tunes that get requested by drunks...lol

[Luke Warm]

Here's the scene, you're doing a gig and the same drunkard keeps coming up to you asking to play some obscure song that you know you just won't play.

However, just to keep them sweet you say yeah i'll play it in abit.....but if you don't play it, tune after tune they will keep coming up to you with the "i thought ya were gona play me tune", "when are you gona play me tune" etc after two or five times you get fed up so these are my best ways of telling them politely (cos thats the type of person i am) to piss off.....

1. Put my headphones on and when they are talking just keep saying what, can't hear ya until they get the message

2. Even if you have just started a new record pretend you are just about to mix leaving them standing there for a few minutes....hopefully the get the message leave.

3. When you see them coming up depending on the type of Dj box turn around to your records or CD's etc and pretend you can't hear the repetative "Heaar Dj, Heaaar, heaaaaaar......heaar..." when you turn around they should be gone.


Those are my top three any other ways of nicely saying, listen your song is crap and i wouldn't even play that if it was the only song i brought!!!

[Mr-X]

Its easier to just say you don't have it or the CD wont play, even at that you'll get what do you mean you don't have it bla bla bla and come back and ask you again in 10 min or get a mate up to ask you 2 seconds latter!!!

You could Tell them if thay ask you again your not going to play it and when they ask again as they always do dont play it.

Or just say no your not playing it take a bit of abuse and be done with it.

And if all that fails just tell them to piss off.

[FrankGreen]

My favourite's would have to be

1) Damn, I was actually listening to that in my car on the way out here and forgot to take the cd in with me,Sorry.

or 2) Sorry mate,just listened to it there and it's scratched too bit's from playing it / the cd players won't play it !!

They are the most polite ways I have found of getting them to feck off !!

[markg]

You can say "I dont have it" but then you get the typical "ur a shoite dee jay" But then again who cares it stops them wrecking your head!

[Macers]

One word - "Bouncer!"

[Mike O' Brien]

i find that a stern "FUCK OFF WRECKIN ME HEAD" usualy works

[Luke Warm]

Now a days the "FUCK OFF WRECKIN ME HEAD", can end up with the Dj getting a bottle in the head. I've heard of a few cases of that, so i don't think its worth it.

The bouncer one does work sometimes, depends i suppose on the venue. I love it when you turn up for a gig and there is a bouncer there all night, you can just mossy on with your gig.

[The squire]

At the end of the day, You have to be professional, and you have to be polite. You cant go calling the bouncer because somebody is requesting a song off you!! I usually use these:

1. If you arent going to play the song for reasons like.... Its a slow song, Its a FLOOR CLEARER, Its a 5 year old obscure pop tune that just wont go down.... Just be honest! tell them thats why you wont play it. When they argue with me, like they nearly always do (does the phrase "I guarantee if you play that song you will pack the dancefloor" sound familiar? or "everybody wants it!") I just let them know that im the dj, its my profession, and i know best. Be firm! (even if youre wrong! which can happen...)

2. If i dont have the song, I usually dont admit it (Unless its some unknown underground techno choon that i have never heard of) because you usually get the crap of people tellin ya that youre a bad dj etc and that can piss me off for the rest of the night, sometimes. But one good thing to do is, if someone requests a song that you dont have, make a note of it in your phone and make SURE to get it, even if you may never play it. Some other excuses if you dont have it........

Ive played it already

I was cuing it up and it started jumpin, sorry!

Where the cd?? Sorry i cant find it!! Ill look for it in a minute and ill play it when i find it!

If the punter in question just wont leave you alone, hey, once in a while, why not just play it? It might just suprise you!! But, above all really, if the punter is polite or isnt a w**ker to ya, then you really should be as polite as possible. Ive come across djs in clubs just bein total w**kers for no reason, its really uncalled for. I know in times like these, where big business is takin over and all the crowd seem to want is beyonce, djs can get very frustrated, and i agree it is shit, but without the crowd we wouldnt have jobs. We just have to try and find our own little ways to be different from the rest and not blame it on the 1000th person that has just asked for outkast.

But then again the thread is called the nicest way to say piss off. So why have i just typed all this :(

[Luke Warm]

Yea that was sorta like my leaveing cert english essay, wrote a few pages of shit then looked back at the title only to relize i misread it, bollox........although there were some interesting points, C+:confused:

[A+1K]

"God...... Sir, Madam that is an excellent choice in track, your music prowess is far beyond that of you peers and as such you have the right to call me a really bad DJ. The reason for this is that altough I do have your requested track in my CD collection, being the absent mind, alcohol driven, narcotics dependant, and sometime lazy person I brought only the CD's that my 12 year sister left in my CD record bag....... Im so ashamed to call myself a DJ, the best thing for you to do is to report my behaviour to the managment and have me thrown out of this venue"

"Perhaps if you give me a chance to redeme myself I could play you some Scooter on you next visit, I have all the good ones honestly"

.............................:moon:

[Mike O' Brien]

nah fuck off....... lol

[Luke Warm]

Haha, yeah maybe but i think A+1k has sumed it up best, the A+ isn't in his name for nothing

[Crosspoke]

I woud say, politley,

I would love to play your song i.e Scooter, however, at present I enjoy working here, if I start playing scooter, I will either get fired, or be forced to leave because the clientel who fequent this establishment will be reduced to the likes of yourself. Management will no longer be able to recruit a reliable DJ, therefore the bar will be shut down, and as a direct result, you will have no where to socialise and I will be unemployed - do you really want that to happen?

[mattbrat24]

lol @ A+1k!

Yeah, I have to agree - you need to be professional in these circumstances. You could always tell him, "OK, I'll go and have a hunt around for that and see if I can find my copy of it, but if I can't find it please accept my apologies". However, if he keeps coming back and back again and then starts to shout abuse or swear at you tell him to piss off ;)....

matt ;)

[jolishan]

Iano..can't believe you expected understanding,patience or coomon sense from a female of the species!..rememeber the golden rule..a camel is only a horse designed by a female:)

[dlccr973]

Just to be funy I played the song they wanted, he loved it, unfortunatly everybody else hated it and I just said BLAME HIM, THAT GUY OVER THERE HE HANDED ME A BLANK CD... :lol:

[DeargDoom]

?

[jolishan]

I Couldn't agree more..????

[Luke Warm]

Originally posted by sub-site

So texts came in wondering "That's not what I asked for!", "What class of a DJ are you at all?", "What do you even play?!", "What's your second name?" and "Who's on after you then?!"...

I answered most of the questions (not my second name obiously) but exclaimed after the last one "Jeez so many questions!"... that seemed to end it :)


I think on radio its a different story cos you should just ignore the texts that are being c**tie.

[WayneScales]

1........For me,only two weeks go,this yolk with a serious attitude came up ask me to play her few 80's cheesy tunes,which i did,anything to shut her up,then she came marching up because i did not play the last 30 seconds of the Police - Roxanne.(Which she didnt request!)
Anyways I said i had played her songs whats the bleedin' fuss,she waffled on that the music was naff and then to me disgust start slagging off everyone who was up on the dancefloor,slagging them over various things,
(If she'd of danced,would have measured at least 6.5 on the Rickter Scale (No relation 2me!),sorry but she was a right chip-on-her shoulder bitch!),then she went onto me,so i politely told her to f**k off,that i was gettin paid(which she seemed amazed by)

[Ronan Devitt]

happens everywhere had a girl asking me to play rave in a pub the other wk for about ten minutes but i only play rap/chart/oldies she was begining to wreck my head but i kept my cool(only caus she was fit:)

[A+1K]

Had some cheeky bugger from The arse end of Kerry as me If My Mother dressed me for my Gig.......

This coming from a gentleman wearing an Egg Nog sleeveless jumber with a Leshark(cheapskate version of laCoste) roleneck underneath....... Incidentily he was also wearing George Web Broges........

F****N Cheeky I say, an experience though that had me Wet myself for about 40 mins!!!!

[WayneScales]

S**TE! All the bloody boggers from Kerry n Mayo will go on a mad 1 tonight after the match,oh dear,we'll be in for a night of it so!

[Ronan Devitt]

Theres only one place if you wana grope a bogger gal in a jersey so.....coppers hahaha

[Rob Ryan]

Had an interesting one a few weeks back...

Started off in the usuall way - "i'm a DJ myself and..." which he followed shortly after telling me to use the echo effect (which he even went as far as to specify setting it to 220 - which was completely wrong for the style of music) on the DJM 600 to "make them go Mad".

So off i go into auto Nod mode whilst digging for my next tune... "i know what you should do, play Orbital! That would rock the shop". (Its a comercial gig).

So i decided to put an end to his waffle so i said: "i know what you should do, do up a mix Cd and drop it into the manager, then you possibly could do a gig here rather than just tell other Jocks how to do their job." (Somehow i managed to say that in a nice way). As always punter didnt get the hint, and continues down the road of self self self.

"I did that already and didnt get a reply" says he while tapping my shoulder mid-mix. So send do it again i said, with patience running low. :frust:

"Is that how you got your Job here?" he says. "No i got the gig cause the manager wanted someone to play exactly the type of music i'm playing, exactly the way i'm play it. So i was asked to play here!

He got the message loud and clear!

[mini-fanatic]

I hate when punters come up beside you and start leafing through your CDs that really bugs the hell out of me.

[A+1K]

I tried to annoy a poor bloke the weekend just gone (for the crac) but fair play to him, he was as polite as F***.......

It was V funny cos he came over afterward and told me the next time he was at any of my gigs he was goin to annoy the nuts off me..... Nice chap actually...

[Voyeur]

He is probably plotting your murder as you speak ;)

[WayneScales]

Had a one last night (She was a bit of alwhite!) who yaked on to how she was a dj in BELGIUM and blah blah blah,(Zzzzzzzz,Sorry what did you say?),on her fifth occasion up to me
(Yip,she was a 'Jockey Slut alright!) she wanted a look at my cds and then said to her mate that I was her dj 'husband and that she could no talk to me,at this point I got a bit scared,convinced she was a lesbo!:moon: (The arse on that!)

[WayneScales]

Jaysis couple nites ago,this girl asked me to play 3 tunes,i played two,ran outta time 2 play the 3rd one,she came up and said,"Wheres 50 cent?", I said,"No time nites finished,sorry!" and to me amazement she says,"Am I NOT WHITE ENOUGH for you",she was a coloured/black girl,typical of SOME of these individulas who always pull the racist thing outta the bag when they dont get there way,unreal,I tells ya,I must be having a bad month with obnoxious punters!

[Peadar]

I think tho' overall the worst are probably the "I'm a DJ meeself..... are they technics?"... I've enjoy my decks at home so i don't need to tell the DJ that fact when i go out.

[The squire]

Yeah, Im a dj meeeeself.....and i have one o those thingys too (points at the mixer)

Yeah, Obviously in the game for years!

[Iano]

I was in the middle of a busy Saturday night last year or so , , usual dance, r&b and whatever kept them excited when all of a sudden i got one of the silliest requests from a complete dumb bell who thought she was the bees fuckin knees making a request for her equally stupid mate .

''Hi, my friend is just out of hospital , can you play a request for her ''?

Sure''

''Do you have any songs with the word hospital in it ?'' or do you even have any songs that mention somebody being sick ''?

I thought it was my mates winding me up .Nobody could be that stupid .

I told her i normally keep a case of music dedicated to sick and dying people but didnt bring it with me tonight .

The funny thing was , she actually believed me .
Some people should NEVER be allowed to enter nightclubs .

Iano.

[The squire]

Yeah, I read you saying that before!! I had a fella come up to me and ask "Do you take requests?". Yeah, course i do! i said...................

Will ya stick on the stobe lights??!!!!! he said!

I told him we didnt have any and about an hour later he was up asking if i was sure there was none!!

Or ive had someone asking for cats in the cradle for their father who just died!!! what do ya say??

NO!

[darraghjm]

i once had a guy askin for girls aloud - jump for his girlfriend, cos her mother died that day and it was her fav song

[Pimp Juice]

I've had someone ask me to give a shout out and dedicate a song to someone but later found out that the person had died during the week. Bad taste for most peeps. The lad that asked actually thought it was funny!!!

[Iano]

Although ive no time for rugby or rugger buggers in general , most of them are a bunch of stuck up nobodys with nothing in the bank , , i actually find them ok to deal with when it comes to music . You could get requests ranging from Chemical brothers & Deep Dish right through to Shite like Bob Dylan or ''Loike Roight can you play a bit of Tom Waitts. At least they wont threaten you with a knife .

Culchies are a a different breed . No class , no manners , no sence of style , no breeding , no self awareness, no taste in music , no fathers that they know of and they know how to sceap .
Apart from that . there fine .

Skobies ?? Well its a nationwide thing isnt it . Where else in the world would you get requests for 'The lock and load remix of ''When i need you '' / Leo Sayer , or the Flip and fill remix of ''Careless whisper ..??
Most of them blame everybody else for their situation of not being motivated enough to aspire to anything other than getting shit faced drunk on their dole money and wrecking some poor f**kers car that he's worked his ass off to have .
The reason for their musical taste is a lot to do with their way of life . Anything remotely resembeling class or quality wont wear with them because as far as their concerned , its too boring and slow to stack shelves with while dancing .
Understanding a request can be an ordeal at times . You need to be very well up on the latest slang . If one of them asks you to bang on some bleedin tunes man so as they can ''Jack Palance'' , it usually means they wish to partake in some form of body movement on the area around the DJ box .
Gold jewellery and ugly girlfriends with fake child allowence books will generally give them away to unsuspecting public .

As for rugger heads , most of them just like to be seen at rugger games to hopefully be accepted by our so called elite . They follow a sport that has f**k all entertainment value , no skill, almost no appeal to sports fans who appreciate natural ability , and having a friend called Dermot , Fergus , Nige , Euge or Lorcan is a dead giveaway .

Now i hope that clears things up.

Iano.

[RadioFriend]

Funny thing is that any DJs that i know are in fact either Skangers (Scobes,Knackers,Chavs!) or Snobs,(D.4,Rugby Loud Poshies) or Cultchies (Sheep-Shagging Chip-on-their-Shoulder Boggers!)..

Of course in my case Im just a Poshie Rugby,Loud Tipperary 4 Skanger who has never Shagged a Sheep but from time to time enjoyed my own company in the long Grass looking at the good looking ones in the galtee mountains and thinking....I hope I have a bit of Toilet Roll in my Jacket.

[walshie]

Originally posted by WayneScales
........................................ ........................................ .....

wayne, you forgot
"She that represents all of her friends who all sit there talking about what song they all want you to play",

"Boring looking girl, usually wearing a black leather jacket, drinking one Bacardi Orange (with a straw)all night long, and sporting stupid looking Ronan Keating Glasses, who insists you play a song by Boyzone, Lighthouse Family or Phil Collins as if you signed a legally binding contract to play it",

"Are you finished yet play one more song, just as you have your speakers dismantled and put in your car and the hall is silent save for the bouncers shouting Get the F**k out at everyone!!"

and.......

"Play the National Anthem"

:)

[John Silverspoon]

Generally its the ugly girl that starts requesting songs from you before you even start. Last week I had a skally asking, in the traditional skally tone of voice,"Come here to me you. Are you the DJ? would you play some Daniel Beddingfield" Its always annoying getting requests even before you have unpacked your bag, taken off your coat and plugged in your earphones.

The country cousins are a differebt kettle of fish, Their taste in music is unbelievable. a few weeks ago i had one asking for the divine comedy!!!??? No disrespect to the musical genious that is the divine comedy(!), but surely she must have been taking the piss, i mean what did she expect me to play..."take the national express" "Generation sex" or the acadamy acclaimed "come home billy bird".

i just dont know!

[Clarification]

Originally posted by Iano
having a friend called Dermot , Fergus , Nige , Euge or Lorcan is a dead giveaway .

Iano.

It's not often I laugh at a computer screen but hats off to you Iano. :lol:

[Turiel]

Its gotta be the knackers that are the worst! Not only will their annoying skobie voice piss you off, but they will ask for *terrible* songs (as Iano mentioned), and probably wait outside the club for you if you don't play them!

Oh, and they're most probably ugly too.

[Rob Ryan]

I had an amusing private gig recently. Turned out to be an 18th, which was following on from a christening (for the bday boys kid) so they could introduce the kid to problems associated with alcoholism at an early age. Anyway in true christening style before I had plugged in the hard house requests and comments about "bein a DJ meself" were flying.

I had one particular whiner, whom looked like she'd been savaged by a bear and every ten minutes, decided to tell me the "musik" was not to her taste and she wanted "prop-pa dance". Having experimented with every conceivable genre I nicely explained that I’d need the name of an artist to identify what she meant by "prop-pa fast dance". To which she replied "Britney". How the hell are we supposed to deal with requests when they can’t coherently put what’s in their mind into words!

Other thing that really annoys me about, lets face it this stereotype, is their prehistoric need when drunk to prove their man hood by trying to kill each other (and yes this applies to women cause unless its foxy boxing, fighting is un-lady-like). The above gig finished with the “family and friends” dividing into two equal sides and brawling in the car park. Sure what’s a night without a good fight to bring it to a climax.



On the snob front it’s always highly amusing when some idiot decides to tip the DJ, “I’ll give you a tenner to play….” If they need to show people they have money then I’m happy to take it!

[Bren Long]

Originally posted by Rob Ryan
fighting is un-lady-like
That depends on what you're into! GrrrRRRRrrrr.


Originally posted by Rob Ryan
I’ll give you a tenner to play
When a man says that to you Rob, you know you're playing the wrong venue!!


I played a gig a couple of years ago and a group of three ladies approached the booth. They were quite good looking and seemed like nice people when they asked me to play a couple of tunes (which incidentally, were in the record box). They also thanked me.
Then, suddenly, without warning, they proceeded to lift up their tops, revealing their impressive bare chests, before smiling and walking off.
Cheeky wenches put me right off my mix!!:eek:

[Chesney]

This happens to me a lot lately too!!
Just as a matter of interest how many of you WOULD take the money to play a song?
I never have .. so far anyway.

As for the worst punters.

In a word... Women.

[kf85]

Generally its the ugly girl that starts requesting songs from you before you even start.

Have to agree with ya there. I was playing in my regular spot and had just arrived. got to the box and was getting the cd's ready to go. The juke box was on in the back round and this fat ugly girl came up and started giving me stick staying the music was crap and asked "would i not play something people can dance to".

Give me a break. i hadn't even turned the juke box off yet. Some people just need to have something to complain about to enjoy themselves i think.

[jolishan]

Without a shadow of a doubt the worst is the dublin skanger of either sex beuase you are dealing with someone with the IQ of a doorknob to begin with. The female of the species can turn the dreaded phrase R&B into a 4 syllable word or if you are dealing the worst of them a whole new word R and f*cking beeeeee. The male of the species only wants "tuuunneeess" of about 140 BPM as this is what he knows is a safe speed to dance at so his "mates" (a) cant see that he actually cant dance and (b) he heard in a movie once it was harder to hit a fast moving target.
Once upon a time I used to actually worry about the opinions of "people" like that..now..I have to laugh at them becuase they have become a parody of themselves, straight out of a bad Roddy Doyle book. And although the Rugger Buggers are annoying by times at least there is some chance you may get thru to them on some level. With the skangers the only hope you have is to stand back far enough to be able to hear them without being able to smell their breath.
Can anyone answer me this simple question?..Can these "people" not see/hear how repugnant they look/sound?..Are their taste buds exchanged for food at an early age or something? Have they no mirrors?..I can't speak for Cork or Galway etc but the Dublin skanger has to be the biggest waste of space we have.

[Turiel]

Originally posted by Chesney
This happens to me a lot lately too!!
Just as a matter of interest how many of you WOULD take the money to play a song?
I never have .. so far anyway.


Sure I have.... Renards was notorious for it. Got €50 one night to play Eminem, which I was going to play next anyway.

Got €20 to play Danzel on Sunday night.

Regardless of money (ok... unless it was like €70+ or so) I wouldn't play a song that I would never play otherwise. And it's only from arseholes that I'd ever take money from anyway, if they're nice about it, then I just say no thanks, but I'll play it anyway.

[DeargDoom]

I'm so happy - I finally learnt how to do the thousand yard stare this week. I learn everything I know about gigging from Niall Boylan but I managed to stare right past a punter for 12 minutes last night while she tried to get my attention. I'll be growing a big bushy moustache next and playing Stars on 45 at my gigs

[WayneScales]

Gotta a classic last night, "Will Ye Play Somethin' Filthy for me Burd so I had Ride the :moon: off her later?" "Eh Ok" I said, Stuck on some aul RnB as its generally classed as sexy or whatever,he came back up to me and said,"No,Somethin' dancy,have ye got de Maniac?" I give up! (His Burd was soooooo hot and a D4 babe too,he was total opposite,chalk and cheese,I think her guide dog was outside though!)

[Fergie]

The "skangers" are by far the worst. They won't stop coming up to me and going alright there "fabio" when my real name is djddd, And then moking me djddd on 101fm?? Saps would they ever get a life.

Also little ticks asking you "Will ye bring me up too the staion some time?" Ehh NO. Take a wash first and I might NOT!

[WayneScales]

Mines gotta be............

"Will Ye Play Somethin Good!" ............... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[plastic mountains]

Aghhhhhhhh! I was gigging last night and got the same thing, she then went on to tell me that I should play blah blah blah (can't remember, wasn't listening) as that would get the crowd going. Now there was a full floor in this place and she was the only moan, so I decided to reply with "listen love, if you can do a better job than I can then why are you on front of the dj box and not behind it" FOOLS! :frust:

[Groossburger]

A punter told me i was`nt a proper dj because i had Cd players and no record desks another one said what have you got.

[plastic mountains]

Lol and I bet he also said "I'm a DJ myself", yeah thats why its a saturday night and your not gigging... plonker!

[WayneScales]

Why is it that the majority of American visitors here can't see beyond Hip/Hop RnB? Thats all they seem to know of,when any other type of genre is played they look at you as if you've five heads,it's just ignorence really,Damn Yanks! Must of heard the "Will Ye Play Sumtin Good" line now about 10 times in the last week,grant my patience!

[Ronan Devitt]

Play something i can dance to(and the said person has been jumping around for the last 30 min)...

[The Big Gig]

Smelly people really do my nut.... not just smokers but those with hygiene issues. ..nothing worse.

[Night Slammer]

Gotta love the following:

1. Ask's you for a Choon then comes up to you 5 mins later or less to ask why you have not played it, then again 3 mins later ect, ect!

2. Shouts in you ear for a song whilst spittin' all over you!

3. I know the owner and he/she say's I can do a shout on the Mic!

Crazy...if we did'nt do it for the Cash huh?

[DeargDoom]

hey Nightslammer, drunks spluttering into you ear can be rather nasty. For me though its Americans. This isn't a "isn't George Bush such a nasty man eating the babies of Iraq" post, but you've got to ask yourself do they realise that they're no longer on US soil sometimes when they go on holiday. Sorry .. when they go on VACATION.

I got some gimp demanding I play his university song last week. I had to tell him I had never heard of his college, or his college song. And the americans do stunned disbelief better than any other nation. Other nationalities will understand when you say you don't have a song. The yanks don't. And then they ask you for it again.

[Night Slammer]

hey Nightslammer...

Spot On!
:nutter:

[Hood_Rich]

The ultimate has to be when your asked (like I was last night) "are you the DJ?" :frust:
"Eh no I'm going for a jimmy riddle"

You have to laugh at it though, if we were to take have the shit that said to us seriously, mountjoy would have a wing full of deejays!!!

[Night Slammer]

The ultimate has to be when your asked (like I was last night) "are you the DJ?" :frust:
"Eh no I'm going for a jimmy riddle"

You have to laugh at it though, if we were to take have the shit that said to us seriously, mountjoy would have a wing full of deejays!!!

You mean they have not got one? :nutter:

[WayneScales]

Got one I have not got in a long time last night,some DUBLIN 4 Snooty Bitchy Horrible Yolk came up and said,"Um,Like Eh,Whats Next Then?" I said to her in my thickest Dublin 24 Skanger accent, "Wait 3 minutes and you will see!" She was not impressed,in fact called me a smart arse! Can we set up a "D.4 (Birds) Punter hating club?Pleaseeeeeeeeeee! That Friggin false put on accent! God I have issues! But come on back me up someone,come on,be the first to join the D.4 revolt!

[Luke Warm]

Helllllllllllllllllllll No! As annoying, materialistic, and false as they are.................they are the easiest to score!!!! And i'm not talking about mingers, i'm talking about the hotttt ones, well, providing you leave before they wake up and you see half their face on the pillow (",) .....incedent...
D4 Girl.."like you know whatever will you play so and so?...
Me...no thats fcuking sh1t....
D4 Girl...please i'll shag you!....
Me...seriously...
D4 Girl...like yaha
Me....!!!....ok it's next!"

Don't hate them, learn to love them ;-)

[markg]

Got a classic there on sat nite, A very drunk D4 head came up to me and says "here mon, Can oi get a drink ouf you?" Which I politely replied, Do i look like a f**king barman with taps in front off me? :dunce: :lol:

[Turiel]

Someone asked me on Thursday night if I was Wayne Scales :(

[DeargDoom]

were you doing pizza deliverys at the time?


(sorry Wayne)

[Leyland]

Got one I have not got in a long time last night,some DUBLIN 4 Snooty Bitchy Horrible Yolk came up and said,"Um,Like Eh,Whats Next Then?" I said to her in my thickest Dublin 24 Skanger accent, "Wait 3 minutes and you will see!" She was not impressed,in fact called me a smart arse! !

No offence Wayne, but I have to agree with her if you did indeed say that. Not at all clever.

[eejit]

Dont know if it is a North West thing, but there is not a night goes by without some twit, normally down from the north, offering to go out to his car to get me a "Banging tune"..

Girls arent much better , the only song they ask for is the "Hungry Eyes" tune from Eyeopener... i am asked for it a minimum of five times a night.

PS..... Which is most important to you guys

1. Wedged dancefloor...

2. Credibility !!!

[Turiel]

Wedged dancefloor!

[Liam Tutty]

Absolutley! Happy crowd equals happy manager equals happy agent equals busy jock equals happy jock.

[WayneScales]

Yeah Layland your probably right,she could have got Daddy to run me over in his 3 Mercs,I presume you got one or two D4 mates? Yes Dearg, I was otherwise engaged that night You ordered the house special but when I got to your gaff, Iano and Ginger where there with big steel bats,You're Blacklisted, no more yummy pizza 4 you,bold boy! Whats this Turiel? Ah, that would have been my great-aunt Beauford Scales! Bless her!

[clairebear]

try being a female dj, apart from the usual annoying types you also get:

the bloke who comes up with look of sarcastic disbelief on his face and says "your not the dj..." to which my usual reply is "oh no of course not im just minding the dj box for him" :rolleyes:

and the bloke who stands beside the dj box looking down your top. when you say eh can i help you with something? he leers "yer lookin well" :eek:

[DeargDoom]

jaysus Claire, what would you be wearing?!

I had the misfortune to be working during the week when we got a bunch of DIT students in. They were some of the rudest customers I've ever played to. The lads were throwing shapes with collars turned up etc etc. Normally that gig is my favourite of the week cos the crowd are so nice, but it was a torment to have to play for them. Normally the DIT crowd are great fun, but I don't know what particular course these muppets came from. So did I play any of their requests? Course not ...

[WayneScales]

Had some horrid skanger woman up to me hounding me all night long,then the unfortunate individual had the misfortune of getting into a bitch fight with 5 other girls,which resulted in an ugly glassing to the skanger,never seen anything like it in this venue! I wrapped up the night with "Murder On The Dance-Floor!" Brilliant!

[clairebear]

jaysus Claire, what would you be wearing?!

prob jeans and a top, a high necked top!! :nutter: some men dont get out very often... :rolleyes:

[DeargDoom]

I got told I look like David Brent from the office at a gig last week. Thats still better than the "Roland from Grange Hill" comparisons which haunted me for years ...

[rhythmIRL]

Heres another pain in the :moon: !
"here youngboyo our teams just one the blaimnotlisteningtou cup can ya play that song ya know our team song" then they name the strangest tune that obviously your not going to play and come up every ten minutes screaming "wheres our tune"!!! :swearing: :swearing:
bloody idiots

[Liamo]

he leers "yer lookin well" :eek:

Best reply: "yup, and yer lookin' far too often for my likin' " :)

[The squire]

I had a drunk skanger lad shove me into the cd decks last week! The bloody drawer was open aswell, the thing was wrecked!! I couldve killed him....... He wasnt being rowdy though, he was just a bit too enthusiastic about his request!!

"HERE DJ, HAVE YA GOT LICK MY CRACK... SHOVE..."

[Peadar]

The DIT gang were probably doing some "daddy's bought me a loike new cor just so i can loike get to DIT roysh" course!

UCD's engineers are much nicer - ok well we're a bit rowdy but we generally don't kill poor innocent CD players or their owners! ;)

[The squire]

Who said they were innocent? B**Tards have been skipping and not reading cds for weeks....

They had it comin...

Same goes for any other cd decks reading this.

[Ronan Devitt]

Good looking girls who promise to **** you if u play a song for them and you know well they wont so you dont bother but very tempting to say the least

[larwright]

Good looking girls who promise to **** you if u play a song for them and you know well they wont so you dont bother but very tempting to say the least

No finesse Ronan! :) but sure ya know all about that! hahaha :p

[Ronan Devitt]

Im sure theres many a dirty story the djs could tell us bout incidents of a sexual nature in dj boxes??? any1..

[larwright]

Good looking girls ....blah blah blah..... very tempting to say the least

Actually Mr. Devitt, what do ya mean "you know well they wont so you dont bother"!???

I'm sure you play the tunes with a glimmer of hope you may be getting some later off "the ugly bird that wanted The Proclaimers!" :)

The Worst is the ones that just flirt, leave ya thinking, "What if...?", if a girl comes up to you and says I'll do X,Y AND Z to you if you play my song, she's not worth going near (Not that I'm innocent when it comes to things like that ahem..) :D 'cos you never know what letters of the alphabet you'll catch!

[KJ]

Im sure theres many a dirty story the djs could tell us bout incidents of a sexual nature in dj boxes??? any1..


I think you should go first Ronan :D

[Ronan Devitt]

A friend of mine who was djing in town got relieved by a female who was pretty handy...wasnt me and i aint giving names away.....Kelly now its ur turn doesnt have to be one of ur own stories but a friend who will remain nameless???

[KJ]

*threads merged due to common theme*

Aint go no stories Ronan, soz :innocent:

Chatting to girls at gigs is one thing ........... but kissing the face off them mid-gig isnt professional and looks bad ;)





















(unless Kirsten Dunst or Terri Hatcher decide to walk into my gig in the nip)

[Hood_Rich]

Ooohhhh Saucer of milk for KJ please :p


Here one I got on Friday after taking over from the warm-up guy. "here when are you playin some dance muzik so I can get a buzz on, know waht i mean bud ;) "

Security to the dance floor please....... :frust:

[KJ]

Found another old similar thread and merged it with this (they're in chronological order) Glad to see some things never change! lol

[Iano]

Scangers have no manners , D4 heads have a an ego that must be obyed at all times .

I remember a D4 head came up to me in a well known mainstream club , wont mention the name but it's close to Leopardstown , in fact , it's actually in Leopardstown , just on the racecource , but as i said , i wont mention the name .

It went like this ....Please use a very strong college D4 ''I sooo cant get a chic to save my life '' type accent .

Erm , loike hoi roight , loike wheres the tunes man , are you normally on a dance vibe here man , loike i ORDERED some chillis loike over an hour ago .and im left loike waiting at the bor man .

ORDERED ????

Iano

[WayneScales]

I notice that snobs alwqays try to givee you a lecture on whats best to play, had it last night, The 'aul Skangers have actually been cool over last few months, its a bit weird but what i have noticed is that some of them are saying "THANKS!" when I play a request for them, what's that all about? (Fair play though!) unlike the ill-manned lot in D.4! Bunch of F**k-Heads the lotta them! (and Breathe Wayne.............!) :frust:

[Ronan Devitt]

I notice the more posh speaking punters who i would manage to play one song for then automatically think im their personal dj and ask and ask for more tunes coming back up to the dj box every five minutes then i have to politely ask them to go and s**.

[WayneScales]

Very True Dev, Its a no win situation really! :frust:

[Rabbit Ears]

You rarely get any grief at weddings down the country but I had a strange one a few weeks ago when a Galway skanger came up to me after I had finished and was packing the gear:

Skanger: Do you play at weddings?

Me: Eh... this IS a wedding??

Skanger: Yeah.. but ya know what i mean.

Me: Eh.. NO?

Skanger: We'd like ya ta play at our wedding but we want all R&B... not the shite ya played here.

Me: Well, my show is really an oldies show... as you have seen. You'd be better of.. and cheaper.. to get some young fella that plays R&B.

Skanger: No we want you... t'was a great night.

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhh............... :frust:

[WayneScales]

Think I've said this before but I got it AGAIN over the weekend, 6 American ladies came in, it was early and I was playing old skool dance, and guess what??? Americans being Americans came up and asked me for.......... Hip/Hop??? Can someone please please explain why these people only have this music genre in their ignorant little brains??? I have never ever had one ask me for 80's Dance Pop or Dance and it's peed me off something rotten! I have nothing against playing Hip-Hop RnB at all and I played an hour or so and soon as I went into Charty Dance she came back up and I said "NO, There'll be more later on!", so off they went in disgust out of the club, Unbelievable! :frust:

[Turiel]

So they like Hip Hop? What's the problem? 99.999% of the requests I get from Irish people are for r&b and hip hop too. This type of music is the predominant one in Ireland, the UK, the US, and probably other countries. It's been a long long time since anybody has asked me for a song from the 80s.

[WayneScales]

NO you missed my point, Now I ain't getting into a petty arguement but if you read my post I said "I don't mind" playing it at all!
Many people from here also often ask for Chart / Dance etc etc etc etc, not just Hip-Hop, and again my question was not actually answered.
My main point really is that they have a face on them or come up in disgust when anything other than this is played, It's total and utter ignorance if you ask me! :frust:

[Ronan Devitt]

Really hate this one and its happened a lot recently...Time is up and im placing my stuff in the bag or unpluging decks etc..Punter comes up "Are you finished"? no im taking a f***ing tea break. :dunce:

[Liamo]

It's amazing the way some punters think they know it all....early on in the night, it's all "what you playin' that shite for" or "play something good", and then, at the end of the night when they're pissed, you could play any load of b**l*x and they'll complain when you're finished :rolleyes:

I guess what it comes down to is intolerance.....some people think their opinion or taste is more important than the bigger picture of the overall night, or they're too cool to just kick back and enjoy a night (until they're completely hammered and falling over). Radio airplay and sneery comments by presenters don't help either, although that's pretty ironic considering the way "Is this the way to Amarillo" went from completely naff to supposedly great for absolutely no reason!

Although if anyone wants to see a great set of house rules for how to deal with this crap, have a look at the notice in the DJ box in The Sin Bin - laughed my ass off first time I read it! My own view/preference is that you play the best of any decade/genre and don't fall in to playing rubbish just because it fits into a genre.

[mini-fanatic]

I'm still gob smacked by this but hey!!

I'm doing a pub gig on Sunday night last.. now you know how punters come up and say things like "Its my friend Brids' birthday tonight will you play happy birthday and get everyone to sing?"... Eh no, but I will wish your friend a happy birthday,and so on...

Anyway at 11.20 this woman in her thirtys come running up and very excitedly shouts.."Quick turn off all the lights my friend is coming in and its a surprise..." Huh?? I enquired... A surprise what??
"Birthday!!" she shouted "We have a cake!!!"

[markg]

I had a rocker come up to me at a gig recently and he asked me what day it was? I told him Wednesday and then he asked for a song. After i asked him why he wanted to know what day it was and he said "i was just getting your attention before i asked for my song cause most dj's ignore me" :nutter:

[DeargDoom]

working last night. Some horrid little Beyonce townie kept hassling me for her song.
5 times in ten minutes. I was genuinely about to play her song but.. and this still makes me grin .. she made a big show of walking off the dance floor, grabbing her bag and shouting to her mate 'dats it .. we're bleedin' goin' and then flounced out of the club via the front of the DJ box so I could see that she was sulking.

Is there any level of self awareness with these people? Did she really think I'd be upset? Or did she just have a very high opinion of herself.

Still. Another dissatisfied customer. heh heh

[DarraghRoberts]

The punter that annoy me at the moment: Group of 4 or 5 guys. One asks for 'Kings of Leon', then bout 5 mins later, another comes up, and so on. The worst part is that you can see the same group standing near you! So 4 out of 1200 people want the kings of leon.....I better play it! NOT!

[Leyland]

I know the feeling, Dearg. Doing a dinner dance a few weeks back and a girl asks me to play U2 as I was beginning to pack up. Fraid not, for I am finished, I replied. Ah go on, it will go down good etc etc she retorted only for me to point out that I was an hour over closing time and that home beckoned. Anyway, her comment after that got me stunned, saying I had better look out when I visited her business at closing time as I won't be served by her due to "demarkation". If I knew big words, I may have taken it a lot worse :dunce: